Daring Greatly by Brené Brown
In March 2024, NotAnotherBookClub assembled to dive into "Daring Greatly". This title may seem paradoxical for a book on vulnerability, but Brené Brown makes the case that risk, uncertainty and emotional exposure go hand-in-hand with courageous action. So if we intend to Dare Greatly in our lives, we’d better get used to feeling vulnerable!
In fact the title of the book comes from a Teddy Roosevelt quote, which I absolutely love: https://lnkd.in/gMFU66zq
Here are a few ideas from the book that our discussion highlighted:
The opposite of “scarcity” is “enough”. And the feeling of HAVING enough is often built on the belief that we ARE enough. This is in contrast to the way our society often plays on feelings of inadequacy as a motivator. “Enough” is good for our wellbeing AND for creating a fairer and more sustainable society.
Shame undermines “enough”. This is the heart of Brown’s research, and we found the stories she used to illustrate male and female experiences of shame particularly moving. Yes, several of us cried. I was in an airport listening to the audiobook and felt tears welling up as I listened.
While defence against the dark arts of shame is important, another part of the puzzle is growing our sense of enough-ness (or whole-heartedness as Brown calls it). When we feel connected with someone she encourages us to try taking off some of our defensive armour, so that who we REALLY are becomes a bit clearer. While this may risk rejection (that’s the vulnerability part), it usually shows us that others readily accept us as we are. This builds our belief that who we are IS in fact enough!
Parenting is a huge area of potential shame, with a sea of opinion, advice and prescriptions (much of it conflicting). This section of the book cut through all of that by asking: “Are you the adult you want your child to grow up to be?”. So if I wish for my children to grow up feeling that they are enough just the way they are, a good place to start is looking at how I feel about myself. That works whatever particular parenting philosophy I might subscribe to.
In our discussion we also tuned into the book’s TONE of humility and respect. The way the whole book is written as an invitation to dare greatly to live a life that we shape for ourselves (individually, in families, in communities). Brown doesn’t tell us what that life is (that’s for us to figure out), rather she aims to equip us with courage and inspiration to step into the arena and strive, however imperfectly, for the things that matter to us - both in our work and in our lives outside of work.
How might you Dare Greatly? What would that mean for you?
